Toby the Tangerine ~ University, a guide for students.
Another year has passed and a shiny new batch of students embark upon their glittering University education programme, I have collected here
a comprehensive guide for new students, to help them ease into their new life as a student.
Before you start though, bear in mind the thoughts of R.K. Rathbun, "A lecture is a process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the student without passing through the minds of either.".
- Life is not fair - so get used to it!
- The world doesn't actually care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
- You will not earn £60,000 a year as soon as you leave university. You won't be a company director with a fat bonus scheme until you earn both.
- If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
- Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
- If you mess up, it's not your parents fault , so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them and move on.
- Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were.
- Your college may have abolished winners and losers to harbour a less negative, more PC educational environment, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.
- Life is not divided into terms. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. You will have to do that on your own time.
- Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave home and go to jobs.
- Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.